Site icon Andrea Oden


Nine years ago I wrote a book called Catching Hell Trying to Love a Black Man. Just as the book hit bookstores, I entered a new relationship with a wonderful man. Today I find myself single again.  I lost love during a pandemic, and we didn’t even live in the same state.  Who can’t stay together during a pandemic?  How does that happen?  OK, I digress.  I’m joking but serious.  I did have an eight-year relationship end last year.  And because we’re sisters, I’m going to tell you the truth.  I stayed too long at the party.  I stayed in this relationship long past the expiration date.  They announced the last call for alcohol, turned the lights on and I was still at the party trying to dance (flashback to my club days).

Honestly though, when you break up during a time when the whole world has also come to a screeching halt, you have some time to think.  You have time to look in the mirror and get real with yourself.

For the last twelve months, I’ve done some hard work. I’ve done the work of uncovering what was still broken in me, the thing that causes me to date the wrong men. The things that cause me to keep trying to work out what isn’t working.  I saw my own red flags and roadblocks.  Come on girlfriend, I know it’s not just me. You know we are all guilty of not only dating the wrong man but falling head over heels in love with that joker. Well, I stopped trying to find myself and define my womanhood through the wants and desires of a man. I called to cease and desist on taking advice and trying to imitate the housewives and girlfriends from reality tv and social media influencers. I did some unpacking of who I am and what makes me happy. I discovered who I was created to be. And you know what? I discovered that I am uniquely wonderful. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. There’s only one me in all the world. I was designed to be a creative woman with big dreams, a huge heart, a bold attitude, a fierce work ethic, and a smart mouth.

While I was doing my work following this breakup, a funny thing happened.  I started receiving messages from my readers on Facebook, Instagram, via blog comments, text messages, etc., all wanting to talk about my last relationship book, Catching Hell. They all said something along the lines of “Andrea, you were so spot on with that book but now we need a new book.” Many of my fans (wow, I have fans) have literally been begging me to write a new relationship book. I planned to write a sequel but just hadn’t been ready – until now.

Now I have something to say about love. This time, I am going to grab love by the throat and put it in a chokehold until it gives me what I want. Ok, that may be a little rough, but you get my point. I’m going to shake love up. I’m going to show you how not to settle, and most importantly, HOW TO CHOOSE HAPPINESS. I am currently working on two projects. I’m writing a sequel to Catching Hell Trying to Love a Black Man and it’s gonna be good.

I am tired of seeing women go through life settling for mediocre at best when it comes to relationships and happiness. We deserve more than what we’ve been getting from the men we choose to love.

 So my upcoming project is a masterclass. Throughout 2022, I will be hosting The Breakup Masterclass.

This masterclass will be a roadmap for women who want to end the cycle of dating and falling in love with the wrong man, the cycle of giving too much, only to no receive enough in return. This year I’m wearing the black hat. I am the villain in the story, assigned to destroy heartache and heartbreak. I’m riding into your life and destroying everything that has been robbing you of your joy. You deserve happiness.  You deserve to be loved just as you are, in all your glorious splendor.  You deserve unconditional love even on your worse days!

You’re not going to want to miss this masterclass.

If you would like more information on how you can join an upcoming masterclass, please email me at

Be sure to follow me on Instagram @andreao_coach.

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