7 Red Flags that Spell Trouble

Early Warning Signs in the Beginning Stages of Dating

Catching Hell Trying to Love a Black Man!

We’ve been talking about red flags on TikTok and in the Breakup Masterclass.  

Let’s face it; it’s easy to ignore red flags when you’re caught up with a new flame. After all, who doesn’t want to believe that they’ve found “The One” this time? It’s the first few dates, and you’re both on your best behavior. Suddenly he says or does something that gives you a pause. That’s what a red flag does. It gives you a pause, a break in the conversation, a gnawing feeling of unease.

We all know the feeling. You’re dating someone new, and after a date or a conversation, you just can’t shake that nagging feeling that something is wrong. It’s a feeling that something is off, and you can’t quite put your finger on it. These are called red flags, and they’re important to pay attention to when you’re dating someone new.

Here are seven warning signs you shouldn’t ignore in the early stages of dating. These are red flags waving, and you shouldn’t ignore them.

1. He’s mysterious about his past.

If he can’t or won’t answer simple questions about his past, it could mean he’s hiding something, or he’s not over his ex. Either way, it’s not a good sign. If you leave the date not knowing any more about him than you did when you went in, that’s a sign that he’s about to waste your time.

2. He cancels or flakes.

Suppose your date is constantly canceling plans or flakes on you last minute. This is a sign that he probably won’t make you a priority long-term. If he can’t respect your time in the early stages, he won’t later on. The beginning stage is the courting stage. It’s when everybody is on their best behavior. If he can’t show up, it’s not a good sign. It will probably get worse.

3. He’s controlling.

If your date is constantly trying to control the conversation, telling you what to order, or making decisions for you, it’s a red flag. This type of behavior can be a sign of control issues and may get worse as the relationship progresses. It’s one thing to be gallant and chivalrous but another thing entirely to be domineering and bossy.

4. He’s rude to waitstaff.

It’s a glaring red flag if your date is rude or dismissive to waitstaff. If he’s rude to those who serve him, he will be rude to you one day. This behavior is a sign of disrespect and can be a warning sign of how he will treat you in the future. After all, love is the greatest act of service. If he’s rude or unkind to servers, he’s probably incapable of true love and respect.

5. He’s always talking about himself.

If your date is always talking about himself, this may indicate that he is self-centered and may not be interested in getting to know you. It’s essential to find someone interested in learning about you and not just talking about themselves. Is he listening to get to know you, or is he just waiting for his time to talk again?

6. He’s always on his phone.

If he’s always on his phone, he’s not really present. If he’s scrolling through his phone or keeps checking his alerts, this says you’re not important enough for him to be present in the moment. This means he’s not interested in you and is more interested in his phone. The same holds true for the guy who wants to take “selfies” throughout the date.

7. He looks at other women.

If you catch him checking out the server or other women on your date, you might want to run for the hills. Admiring other women while on a date with you clearly shows that he is not interested in being monogamous and may not be interested in a committed relationship. If he can’t focus on you and only you, he’s not worth your time.

These are seven major red flags to watch out for when dating someone new. If you see any of these warning signs, it’s best to move on. There’s no need to waste your time with someone who is not interested in being monogamous or committed. Find someone interested in getting to know you and who respects you and your time. Most importantly, don’t ignore your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Red flags are there for a reason, so pay attention to them.

Sometimes a red flag just means pay closer attention. Other times it means RUN!

Never be afraid to walk away. It’s better to exit early than to be disappointed and heartbroken later. Good luck out there!

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Coach Andrea O.

P.S. For more on dating, relationships and love, grab your copy of

Catching Hell Trying to Love a Black Man

Published by The Andrea Oden

The Coach to help you land the career of your dreams and the life you've always dreamed of!

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